Sempre me perguntam se sinto saudades do Brasil. Então me pergunto: o que é saudade? Não quero voltar no tempo. Mas também não quero que algumas coisas mudem. E a incerteza dói. Nessa semana meu avô morreu. Não estou triste por isso. Ele viveu bastante e teve tempo de aproveitar bem a vida. O problema é estar longe sem saber quando vou poder estar com aqueles que gosto de novo, ou conhecer os novos que estão entrando em nossas vidas. Será que todos vão estar lá quando eu voltar? Será que vou rever todos novamente? Será que meu sobrinho de fato ou o de afeto que estão a caminho vão saber quem eu sou? Essas perguntas são duras, mas realistas. A resposta: não sei. Só me resta viver sem me torturar com a dúvida e esperar q nada aconteca, e de alguma forma me fazer presente.
People always ask me if i miss brazil. Then, i ask myself: what is missing? I dont want to go back in time. But I dont want some things to change either. And the uncertainty hurts. This week, my grandpa died. I am not sad for that. He had time to live enough to enjoy life. The problem is being far and not know if/when i will be with the ones i like again, or even meet the ones who are just entering our lives. Will everyone be there when i go back? Will i get to see everyone again? Will my nephews-to-come (the blood and the affection ones) know who i am? These are hard questions, but realistic ones. The answer: I have no idea. I just have to live on without torturing myself by this questioning and hope that nothing happens, besides being present somehow.
People always ask me if i miss brazil. Then, i ask myself: what is missing? I dont want to go back in time. But I dont want some things to change either. And the uncertainty hurts. This week, my grandpa died. I am not sad for that. He had time to live enough to enjoy life. The problem is being far and not know if/when i will be with the ones i like again, or even meet the ones who are just entering our lives. Will everyone be there when i go back? Will i get to see everyone again? Will my nephews-to-come (the blood and the affection ones) know who i am? These are hard questions, but realistic ones. The answer: I have no idea. I just have to live on without torturing myself by this questioning and hope that nothing happens, besides being present somehow.
